Life goes on as it has been. Up in the morning and off to pack. I am almost done now and with my daughter here it has made life easier...until now. I NEED prayers for her dear friends. Tonight it all came together for me for how I had a right at times to worry. Each of knows that when something is off with our kids. Well, I have been feeling this for awhile now and just couldn't put my hand on it. And now I know. Tonight just before dinner she broke, crying hysterically and I finally was able to pull her back to my bedroom and actually had to force her to talk. She was sick she was crying so hard and then out it came. She had been raped over Christmas.
My daughter had been in a serious relationship for a long time but he was now in the navy and stationed in Japan. She had met someone and knew that decisions had to be made in the relationships. So, she went to Japan to see and spend time with a man she was considering marrying. After a few days when she realized that this life was not what she wanted and she didn't love him enough to be married, she told him. And, he raped her. She now feels like it was her fault because she couldn't make herself fight back, she couldn't force herself to come home immediately. She said she just acted like it never happened. Until a couple of weeks ago the flashbacks started and she realized what was what. She told her boyfriend, the man she wants to marry someday, about what happened and he is so confused. I don't know if he really understand the logistics of why it took her so long to say this. She is going through the feelings of guilt, shame, maybe she deserved it. NO NO NO NO NO I told her I would be by her side through this whole process of whatever she needed to do; but, I insisted that she go to a Rape Crises Center when she gets home and I will go and hold her hand if she needs me to. Her love is a NYPoliceman and has connections about how to handle this. I don't know if her guy really understands though. I pray that he can heal too and that the relationship just becomes stronger instead of breaking down like some do after crisis like this. She thinks that if it does it is her fault for telling. I keep telling her this is not her fault. It is a crime of violence and should not be ignored. Of course armed forces won't deal with it but just confronting the situation will help to heal and let him know that she won't keep quiet and she will fight back now. I saw her get mad tonight. Good for her. But I want to take the pain away. I am praying hard to God to pick her up and carry through this. One good thing is now that she has admitted to herself and the ones that love her what has happened she has gotten mad. And she will work with being mad to make sure the right athorities know what he did. She knows that nothing will come of it but the fact that she did not stay quiet will strengthen her soul.
And now she has told another. Just a few minutes ago she told her grandmother. Three generations laid in bed crying and holding each other. We will all heal together. I just want to make sure my dear sweet Karen heals and will live a whole life again. Please pray for my child.