Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Child

Life goes on as it has been. Up in the morning and off to pack. I am almost done now and with my daughter here it has made life easier...until now. I NEED prayers for her dear friends. Tonight it all came together for me for how I had a right at times to worry. Each of knows that when something is off with our kids. Well, I have been feeling this for awhile now and just couldn't put my hand on it. And now I know. Tonight just before dinner she broke, crying hysterically and I finally was able to pull her back to my bedroom and actually had to force her to talk. She was sick she was crying so hard and then out it came. She had been raped over Christmas.
My daughter had been in a serious relationship for a long time but he was now in the navy and stationed in Japan. She had met someone and knew that decisions had to be made in the relationships. So, she went to Japan to see and spend time with a man she was considering marrying. After a few days when she realized that this life was not what she wanted and she didn't love him enough to be married, she told him. And, he raped her. She now feels like it was her fault because she couldn't make herself fight back, she couldn't force herself to come home immediately. She said she just acted like it never happened. Until a couple of weeks ago the flashbacks started and she realized what was what. She told her boyfriend, the man she wants to marry someday, about what happened and he is so confused. I don't know if he really understand the logistics of why it took her so long to say this. She is going through the feelings of guilt, shame, maybe she deserved it. NO NO NO NO NO I told her I would be by her side through this whole process of whatever she needed to do; but, I insisted that she go to a Rape Crises Center when she gets home and I will go and hold her hand if she needs me to. Her love is a NYPoliceman and has connections about how to handle this. I don't know if her guy really understands though. I pray that he can heal too and that the relationship just becomes stronger instead of breaking down like some do after crisis like this. She thinks that if it does it is her fault for telling. I keep telling her this is not her fault. It is a crime of violence and should not be ignored. Of course armed forces won't deal with it but just confronting the situation will help to heal and let him know that she won't keep quiet and she will fight back now. I saw her get mad tonight. Good for her. But I want to take the pain away. I am praying hard to God to pick her up and carry through this. One good thing is now that she has admitted to herself and the ones that love her what has happened she has gotten mad. And she will work with being mad to make sure the right athorities know what he did. She knows that nothing will come of it but the fact that she did not stay quiet will strengthen her soul.
And now she has told another. Just a few minutes ago she told her grandmother. Three generations laid in bed crying and holding each other. We will all heal together. I just want to make sure my dear sweet Karen heals and will live a whole life again. Please pray for my child.


  1. Oh how my heart just grieves in reading this post! I am sending along prayers to the heavens and asking God for healing in not only her heart and mind by also for comfort in her soul. I ask that God provide a way for both of you to get her the help she needs to deal with this because keeping things bottled up will not help anyone.

    I am also praying for her boyfriend to come to terms with what has happened and be there if he is the one God has chosen for her to help her through this process as well.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  2. I'm so sad to hear this. I will be in prayer for your sweet Karen and for God to bring His perfect will to be in her life. I will also pass the request to my praying friends.


  3. I am so broken right now. You know how much I love all of you. I am so if it were my own child. I am sooooo sorry this happened to Karen. The first step in healing is admitting. She has actually taken the hardest step. I am storming the heavens and you know I am here for you and Karen....anything....anytime! I LOVE YOU, andrea

  4. Dear one I am so very sorry to what has happened to your daughter. Yes, most definitly she needs to get into counseling a.s.a.p. Dear one, you may also want to seek counseling for yourself, as this rape has not only affected Karen, but you and your family I am sure. Support her in everyway you can. Hugs and prayers go out to you all.....

  5. As a mother I understand your pain. It would devestate me to have that happen to my daughter. As a rape victim I understand Karen. I am praying for her and am thankful she has you and family supports. Rape devestates. For a long time I couldn't even say the word rape. And like Karen, I blamed myself - and then punished myself with cutting my body and refusing to eat believing I didn't deserve anything. I am praying for healing for her and strength and courage and wisdom for you. Stay safe, Sarah

  6. Dear one, the power is in the secret until it is told. Now that it has been shared, God can work in your lives - and the life of the young man who harmed your daughter.

    I wept with and for your daughter, you and her grandmother. I have a 24-year old precous daughter and I felt myself on that bed with you--the pain, the anger, the grief, the outright rage!

    As parents, we beg God to spare our children any pain, and yet it is a part of life. Prayers, prayers, prayers for healing and strength.

    Know you are loved, not only by us here on earth, but by the Source and Creator of all love, in heaven.

  7. As a woman who was often raped and abused by my first husband, I can understand her feelings and her reluctance at first to tell anyone what happened. It has taken me years to sort it all out in my mind. She is a brave young woman to share and try to come to some kind of closure. I am so sorry this happened to her. She is lucky to have you for a mother.

    Each of you are in my prayers. Bright Blessings.

  8. Donna,

    My heart is broken for both of you. As a mother I can't even begin to know the pain your heart must be feeling right now. A few years ago my brother who is now 39 told me he had been molested as a child and the deep grief was beyond anything I had experienced but yet this is still not my Child.
    First I know that by bringing this "into the light" it can begin to be healed. It will be a journey with her and the Lord. HE will walk every step of the way, healing, helping, strengthening, and one day even something so awful can be a testimony to help someone else.

    These are a few words from the book I have been reading that I wanted to share with you. The book is Hearing Jesus speak into your Sorrow by Nancy Guthrie
    The words Jesus speaks are far different from the words we speak. There is life, power, and authority in his every word. He speaks life into death, hope into despair, truth into delusion, meaning into futility, peace into panic. From HIS lips we receive wisdom, compassion, companionship, and so much more. You may have found that most people around you simply don't know what to say to you about your sorrow or struggle. But I can assure you that JEsus knows just what to say to brokenhearted people. He knows just what you need to hear because he knows us better than we know ourselves. And Jesus understands the weight of our pain bc he himself has plumbed the depths of suffering and sorrow.
    by Nancy Guthrie

    May you find rest, peace, and a knowing that Jesus has you all in HIS loving arms and will guide you every step of the way

    praying for you all

  9. I stopped by at Andrea's request to share some prayers with you. As the mother of beautiful girls quickly approaching adulthood and a sister who survived rape, my heart aches along with you. I read through your last few posts and can't imagine how you can stand through all you are going through right now if it were not for the Lord holding you up.