Mom has settled into her new home and I thought I was settled with all this too. I still have more to do the next week and I am praying that I can get it all done.
Tonight we went to dinner in the dining room The food was amazing, the ambiance wonderful, and we really enjoyed our dinner. We must have we were there 1 1/2 hours. It is like a 5 star restaurant, appetizer or soup, salad, entree, dessert. Wow. Then my mind started wondering to the people around us. The widows, the old couples, the girlfriends that keep each other company. And I saw what this wonderful place was made for...getting old. I don't want my Mom to get old. I don't want to watch the progression of getting slower, walkers, thinking hard before making a decision. And then I realized that someday that my Mom would die here. That this is where she will live out the rest of her life.
Tonight I am sad. Terribly sad of knowing of what will come someday. I know take each day, each moment and praise God that we have this wonderful relationship and that we can enjoy our time together. But, I am sad. Tonight I miss my father. I miss what they had a couple, the love they shared. I'm lonely. I know that God keeps me from truly being alone, but my heart hurts.