Saturday, August 15, 2009

Letting Go

Mom has settled into her new home and I thought I was settled with all this too. I still have more to do the next week and I am praying that I can get it all done.

Tonight we went to dinner in the dining room The food was amazing, the ambiance wonderful, and we really enjoyed our dinner. We must have we were there 1 1/2 hours. It is like a 5 star restaurant, appetizer or soup, salad, entree, dessert. Wow. Then my mind started wondering to the people around us. The widows, the old couples, the girlfriends that keep each other company. And I saw what this wonderful place was made for...getting old. I don't want my Mom to get old. I don't want to watch the progression of getting slower, walkers, thinking hard before making a decision. And then I realized that someday that my Mom would die here. That this is where she will live out the rest of her life.

Tonight I am sad. Terribly sad of knowing of what will come someday. I know take each day, each moment and praise God that we have this wonderful relationship and that we can enjoy our time together. But, I am sad. Tonight I miss my father. I miss what they had a couple, the love they shared. I'm lonely. I know that God keeps me from truly being alone, but my heart hurts.


  1. My heart goes out to you as I too watch the progression with your mom. She is a beautiful lady and I am thankful you were able to make this transition, but sad for you at the same time. I (we) love you and are praying for both you and Sue.
    Much love, hugs, prayers, and blessings, andrea

  2. May His love and comfort cover you with this transition..Praying for you...God bless.

  3. I so understand this sadness. As I spend the days with my dad I must remind myself these things and rest in knowing that the Lord is w/me but it is still hard knowing and experiencing the loss or knowing things such as you have described. Some days as I would watch Dad walk back to radiation or have chemo it just broke my heart much longer do I have with him Lord? I don't want him to die--He is so young and I want more time with him. I know I am to cherish each day with him. I know YOU are with me and I am to trust in YOU but it still hurts.
    My heart is giving you a big hug right now.....I am praying for your sorrow. Give yourself permission but rest in knowing God IS with you and holding every tear you cry!

    love to you

  4. Hang in there with your mom. Use this time wisely so you don't have a life to look back on with regrets of things you wished you would have done or time you should have spent with her. Let her know everyday, you love her and continue to come and visit.

    She is at a place where she can't leave and I am sure it will be those visits that will be so priceless to her.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat