Starbucks Day!

One good thing about therapy day is that I treat myself to a Starbuck's Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte with one Splendia (extra shot of Vanilla). For some reason, this little treat relaxes me and it really amazes me how when I am relaxed I am able to talk, vent, cry. So, twice a month I look forward to my "treat".

It's a shame that alot of us can't look at our faith the same way. We wake up each morning and go about our business and then eventually we think "oh yeah" thanks God. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we got up every morning and got excited about having our Latte with God? Our "treat" of therapy with our Lord.

The Existence of God

I went away for a few days. Not alone-I was with my husband and we went up to the lake in Central NY State. For the first time his father and step-mother will not be driving to Florida for the winter, they will fly; so we went there to say our winter goodbyes. You see, my father-in-law is 90 years old. And healthy, but he is 90. But, we were also there for another reason. You see, my husband was raised Jewish, and he still celebrates the holidays with his family. I go and I celebrate but in a different way. As I sit in the temple, I hear the words of the Hebrew people. The language of our Lord Jesus Christ. I hear the prayers that are recited and sung and I think that these are the words and prayers that our Lord recited and prayed. The prayers begin with thankfulness, to penitence, to mourning, to celebration, to forgivness. And as each section begins my father-in-law would explain something to me and say: "Read the English, and you will understand". So I read, commentaries, translations, and the ah-ha moment that I would like to share:
Isaiah 43:12 says You are my witnesses, says the Lord, and I am God.
The commentary is as follows: God exists; but unless we acknowledge this, and unless our belief in God's existence has some influence on our life and character, then for us God does not exist...God exists when we recognize God's sovereignty! The sages of the Midrash had their own way of teaching this idea that, in a sense, God depends on us just as we depend on God. When you are MY witness, I am God; but when you are not my witness, I am, as it were, not God.
How sad it must make God when we do not do his will. When we do not testify to his existence and accepting Him and His Son into our lives we are denying him and admitting that HE is not the the ruler of our lives, it is as if we are denying his existence.
I pray for each of you to open your hearts on the days you question and are hard; I pray for each of you to look into the heavens and say yes God, yes Jesus, I will live my life as you have asked.

Thank You

I feel all the prayers but don't stop please. I am praying for each of too. I am thanking God for not leaving me alone and I have some dear friends to help hold me up with God. I will get through this. Co-dependancy is a nasty thing. It takes over a life and you lose all your worth unless that one person validates everything when you want it validated.
I am headed to the lake for a few days. I will be back Tuesday night. Have a wonderful weekend . I love you all.

STORM THE HEAVENS WITH PRAYER

Dear Friends,
Walking this evening, I ran into a friend one block over. I had not seen her for awhile because of me being out of town. As we were talking she started to tear up, asking what was wrong, she told me how her husband had had a brain bleed in June and is still in the hospital. She thinks that he is aware of the family being there but he really makes no major responses. I told her that we would start storming the heavens in their behalf. So, please pray for Steve that God will hold his hand and heal him if his will be done. Please hold Becky in your prayers as she deals with terrible blow. The couple is in their early 40's and two children in elementary school.
If someone could tell me how to make a button for Steve and let's see how fast we can get this out. If anyone would like to e-mail Becky, message me at my e-mail and I have permission to give it out.
Storm the heavens for healing my friends

Discovery

I've been gone awhile-not from home mind you. Gone from myself. I needed time to be angry. I needed time to process the past two weeks. And here is what I have discovered.
1. When in trouble, ask God and your friends. God is going to pick you up. Your friends cry and pray with you. Thank you each and everyone.
2. We each age. Some faster than others. We want to hold on to our childhood. We want to hold on to our parents. There comes a time to take care of ourselves.
3. We can't make other people happy all the time. We can't change their situation. We can't change the circumstances. They have to make their own decisions about making their life full or take their own life.
4. It is OK to grieve.
5 It is OK to be happy and content with yourself.
6. There are situations in our life we can't take back. From the time that an injustice, pain, words, or an action it becomes a part of our life.
7. Say I love you more often. There will be a time in our life when it will be too late.
I am back now....and will be back with "My Will Be Done " soon.
I've missed you. Happy Weekend.
Labels: age, friends, God, happiness, happy life, prayer, sadness

Discovery

I've been gone awhile-not from home mind you. Gone from myself. I need time to be angry. I need time to process the past two weeks. And here is what I have discovered.

1. When in trouble, ask God and your friends. God is going to pick you up. Your friends cry and pray with you. Thank you each and everyone.

2. We each age. Some faster than others. We want to hold on to our childhood. We want to hold on to our parents. There comes a time to take care of ourselves.

3. We can't make other people happy all the time. We can't change their situation. We can't change the circumstances. They have to make their own decisions about making their life full or take their own life.

4. It is OK to grieve.

5 It is OK to be happy and content with yourself.

6. There are situations in our life we can't take back. From the time that an injustice, pain, words, or an action it becomes a part of our life.

7. Say I love you more often. There will be a time in our life when it will be too late.

I am back now....and will be back with "My Will Be Done"

I've missed you. Happy Weekend.

Thank You With Much Love

This has been the second worst week of my life. The first being the 5 weeks that my Dad was sick then passing over. In lost desparation I received the massive outpouring of love and prayers I knew that I would not be alone. I hurt so much watching my dear wonderful daughter struggle with the acceptance that she had been raped. Her anger, her low self-esteem, the struggle her boyfriend is going to. It is so painful for me. She is seeking help for which I thank God. With her struggle it has not become just about her, but about all women and this ugly injustace.

My cat was put to sleep on Thursday. The vet let me lay down with her and hold her. I heard her last breath. She purred until the end. Today I took out the litter box, washed her bowl and collected her toys for my daughter's cat. I miss her so much. I expect her to walk around a corner and slap the dog, or open the bathroom door. My dog has been going to the pantry where her food was and then to where we fed her. He went to litter box, paces from room to room and cries. He misses her too.

So much more, and I am tired. I am fighting my depression as hard as I can right now. I know I am in that downward spiral I get with the bi-polar but I am fighting. I am allowing myself the time to mourn. I am taking my meds. I have been going back to each of your posts for my bible verses. They are helping.

On a good note, I have many more blogs to become friends with. My love and blessings to each of my new and loving friends.

Life Goes On

Good morning dear friends. Yesterday I left my Mother in her new home and came back to mine after being gone for 6 weeks. With all that has happened with my mother's move and my daughter I am exhausted physically and emotionally. But, the "@#@$" didn't stop when I got home.

My daughter and I had a chance to just be together with the 6 1/2 hour ride home. She has contacted the Navy in two different divisions of the base in Japan to find out how she can report this. The reply they gave was since she was not in the Navy they could do nothing. She was told that possibly that if she reported it to her police department they could give you the information you needed. Luckly her dear boyfriend is a policeman where they live and he can help. She is also going to a crisis center today now that she is home and I am sure they will have the answers on how to proceed. I am so proud of her finally screaming I won't take this anymore. Will keep you updated.

I am in awe of each of you that responded to my cries. And for you that this story bringing back the horrors in your own lives, I am so proud of you speaking out. My prayers for your healing are daily and I sincerely hope that your know that I will always stand behind you in your journey.

Telling my mother goodbye was so hard. But my daughter stressed to me alot on the way home that I am going to get sick again if I don't take care of me. It is time to let go. 5 years ago after my father died and I took over everything I became very ill. Apparently she feels that I am heading down that road. When did our children grow up enough to start taking care of us?

When I walked into the house last night, my husband announced that the cat has been spitting up blood for the past 4 weeks but didn't tell me bacause he didn't want me to worry. When asked why he didn't take her to the vet he informed my daughter and me that he had to work and on Saturday and Sunday's he didn't want to do anything. He told me that he knew I would take care of it when I got home. Needless to say my "mini me" went nuts on him and then barely spoke to him again before me taking her to the train station. I am going to call the vet now and see if I can't get my Ms. Charlie in this morning.

With love and prayers. Donna

Letting Go and Moving On

Part 3 of my "Thy Will" has to be put on hold a few days.
As a few of you have become to know, my Mother is moving to a tiered retirement and health care facility (it's more like a town to be honest). For now, she is very healthy and will be moving into a "cottage"(2100 sq.ft home) in the independent living community. Like most who move, we feel like we are just walking in circles getting nothing done for the packers that come tomorrow.
Until yesterday she was handling this move pretty well. When a friend came to help by getting the dogs and keeping them at her house until the move is complete in a few days, Mom realized that the end of living in this house was coming. As the dogs rode off she realized her dear Grace, a lovely 4 1/2 lb Papillion, would never spend another night in the only house she has never known. Mama and Daddy built this house together 20 years ago when they retired; and, her moving is letting go of one of the last things they did together . I know that I will not be able to make this move easier for her. I won't be able to stop the pain of telling a old life goodbye. But, I will be able to hand her the kleenex, hold her hand, and pray that her "new" life is full and happy. And as I do, I am asking you to pray for me that I have the strengh to help make this move the easiest I can for my mother. But most of all, please pray for my mother, Sue, that her new life is one enriched with love and friends, a quieted soul that she will live the rest of her life enriched with all that there is to offer.

My Mom and Grace

The Ant and the Contact Lens

This was sent to me by a friend of mine. It's a good way for me to start a group of writings for the next few days.

Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens. "Great", she thought. "Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry." She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there. She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens. When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth." She thought, "Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me." Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, "Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?" Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it! The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, "Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You." I think it would do all of us some good to say, "God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will." God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him....I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)